Just yesterday, I raised the question of, “When should one take a piss during Super Bowl Sunday?”. Calling it a major dilemma. Well, in the words of Lee Corso, “Not so fast my friend”, it looks like that has been trumped…And we just don’t have a dilemma, but we have a major crisis going on, (I know, so what else is new in this fukcing country). But a Super Bowl crisis…What’s up with that? The crisis…Will There Be Enough Chicken Wings Available Super Bowl Sunday?
While I was rambling on about checking out bathroom decors yesterday, the chicken industry alerted us that restaurants around Buffalo were experiencing shortages of chicken wings & very high prices, causing worry among owners and wing fans alike who are hoping the issues of the Northeast do not spread further through the country. Buffalo, the home of the wings…Damn, how bad can Super Bowl 43 get? Aside from the fact that Tampa’s a ghost town, Cardinals fans are MIA, tickets are being sold for pizza delivery prices, and asides from hearing about Kurt Warner, Larry Fitzgerald, and seeing the Boldin-Haley sideline miff, this is nothing more than a Kansas City Royals game. Now word hasn’t it we might not be able to go to our local Hooters and Winghouses on Sunday to enjoy some wings…Yes, Super Bowl XLIII needs a stimulus package too, Mr. President!
What, did Super Sunday sneak up on the chicken peeps? It’s not like this weekend doesn’t account for 5% of all wing consumption during the year, with over 1 billion wings eaten in all. That's a lot of chickens that died for your sins…To that I say…CHEERS!
So how did we get to this point of having a chicken wing shortage and it fallen on Super Bowl week no less? There’s 52 weeks in a freaking wings and it happens of all weeks this one! Just as everybody else is doing and filing bankruptcy so did Pilgrims Pride in December…Cutting the chicken supply by 25% in the U.S. Damn, how do I know so much about chicken? Add that to everything else going on in this freaking country, (see higher gas and feed prices last fall), and poor old Farmer Jack and company had no choice but to decrease production. Awesome! What’s next? Are we going to have to start smuggling in ranch dressing from other because of a shortage well? Will there be knock down, drag-outs brawls in the local supermarkets over bleu cheese? Peeps going to have to line up outside supermarkets like they do for the day after Thanksgiving sales in hopes of landing some celery in their carts? Yeah, God Bless America!
And if you want more bad news, it’s not like you can stock up on those items this year and save them for the Super Bowl XIV party without them going bad…Good theory to plan ahead since there’s no telling how worse shit will get for next year!
Although for all you pizza delivery dudes out there working Sunday…You have the potential to make a killing!
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