Wednesday, January 28, 2009

The Reality of it is... A Douchebag is Still a Fukc Face

Guess Terrell Owens can’t dub his show "Jackass", since that’s already taken. Perhaps this might be more of an appropriate title… "How to beat the T.O. Disease"

I’ll admit this will do better than "The Magic Hour" that was brought to us by Magic Johnson, simply because this sounds kinda interesting to watch yet also kinda ridiculous. Perhaps we’ll get a better understanding of how to get a good "driveway workout" when media outlets are hounding us? Perhaps we’ll learn the correct way of throwing people under the bus and the backing over them a few time. Perhaps T.O.’s going to teach us the correct way to look at ourselves in the mirror after watching him do it at least 30 times an episode…That’s not counting reflections in windows either. Maybe we’ll learn the appropriate way to be in front of a microphone, opening our horsey month and then swallowing it…All the while making that soundbyte into national headlines. Perhaps he sees this as another avenue to brainwash Cowboys fans into thinking that he’s really a swell guy and the media portrays him out to be cancer…It’s either that, or Cowboys fans are a bunch of dumbasses, just like the one who owns them! See the correct way to be an All-Pro pill popper.

What the hell is up with VH1? I thought, you know they were known for, um, music videos? What the hell ever happened to "Pop-Up Video", damn! I guess we shouldn’t be surprised of all of this…The more ridiculous it is, the more the publc fukc heads eat it up! Case and point, this same network gave burnt out/washed out rocker Bret Michaels "Rock of Love" after finding 30 or so groupies that wanted to be with his loser ass simply for his money because they don't want to work. Bret, eat your heart out…And oh yeah, getcha popcorn ready, never know when Pacman Jones will make a cameo! Word has it, he doesn’t have shit to do! Perhaps Flava Fave, sprinkle in some Ray J too! Yeah, the new marketing slogan for VH1, and yes, they just came up with a new one..."Where celebrities and athletes go to die." How appropriate!

Although let’s look at it from a career perspective…Big D is certainly his last stop in the league! And if Jerry Jones was smart, (and if I was Hugh Hefner) BLOwens career in Dallas would be over! Though, gotta hand it to Mr. Team Cancer for trying to prepare himself for life after football…He knows the end is soon! Lost a couple steps, has the very infectious disease of "Cast-Iron Skillet Hands"…And in this economy, gotta strike when the iron is hot! And to think we wonder everyday why this country has gone down the shitter…It’s a no wonder people in this country are fukcing idiots. They watch crap like this. In defense of this reality shit I will say that the "Simple Life" taught me that Wal-Mart isn’t a store where one can buy walls…Until then, I was in the closet on that.

However, it’s no wonder why Jerry Jones is in love with his bff’s BLOwens and Micheal Irvin…They’re two pickles from the same jar. They’re fukcing clones…Always keeping the Cowboys in the headlines! We all know how much Jerry gets his rocks off about that, don’t we? Likely he’s in full support of this!

Is it just me, or do others see this same picture of when Terrell BLOwens was "Little T", you know damn well he was the kid that was always showboating and trying to get people to watch him, the "it's my ball, and if I don't like it, I will take it and go home" type. Always craving attention back then. Here’s my theory…

When T.O. can't play anymore and the media tires of his antics and there is no more room in the spotlight for his ego, the man will be on suicide watch. He doesn't know how to live without attention and will not be able to handle fading into obscurity. The blame for his suicidal state of being will be directed at the media for how they mistreated him and how he was simply misunderstood and portrayed wrongly…Just as it always is/was! I think I'll vomit now rather than wait!

The REALITY OF IT IS... A douchebag is still a fukc face!

Look for this to come to a boob tube near you this summer…Kudos to VH!

Awesome…Can’t Wait!

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