Help Change My Name...

Look, we all know politicians are bizarre human beings no matter what you political views might be…Doing things, that, well, really don’t make sense to any one of us but them. Although I’ll say in the case of President Bill Clinton and New York Governor Eliot Spitzer we know exactly what’s it’s like for the ball and chain to not hold up her end of the agreement…All been there, all know what it’s like! That’s why such an occupation exists in this country…GOSH! So this makes complete sense to us…And it’s about the only thing that makes sense to us! Now if Obama can institute a college playoff somehow…Hell, he’ll go down as the best president this country has ever seen, (just too bad I think he might have bigger issues on his plate than that…just a guess!)

Yes, politicians are strange breeds, seeing things which makes normal peeps like you and I left to say, "Are you F-ING kidding me!"…And once again yesterday, we got the chance yet again why we have this perception of politicians who are nothing more than idiots! Now in all fairness to every lying ass politician out there perhaps this is only a Pittsburgh thing, and the mayor’s trying to fit in, ("at least for a week") with all the other dumbasses in his city, but to change your name from Mayor Luke Ravenstahl to be known as Luke Steelerstahl — at least for this week…It’s no wonder why we dislike these shit for brains!!
Mayor Shithead on his new name change…
"On behalf of the Steelers Nation, I've decided to remove the word 'Ravens' from my name just like the Steelers will remove them from the AFC Championship," he told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, in regards to the upcoming playoff game against the Baltimore Ravens.

I suppose he felt threatened that his Mayors pad was going to get torched by some insane Steeler fan or something like that. So to make sure that wasn’t going to happen, Ravenstahl began the process of a legal name change, but his paperwork has not gone through because it wasn't complete. The civil count in Pittsburgh also said it didn't receive the required $108 check to process the request. Imagine that and go figure…A politician not completely following through on what he set out to do…SHOCKER!

Although this got me thinking…Honestly, I’m very unhappy with my name as well! And in lieu of Mayor Dumbfu**’s idea, (thanks Mayor Shithead) I think changing my name will do me some good. However, with all the names to choose from out there, I’m having trouble selecting one! I’ve narrowed it down to a hand full below, but just don’t know which one to legally change my name to…They’re all good choices! So yes, I’m looking for all the input I can get! From the collection of names below, what would you change it to? Or if you have a name in mind not listed below, I’m open for suggestions!

Handjob, (first name, Rod)
Kunter, (that’s with a K…First name, Mike)
Hyman, (first name, Buster)
Crickettkiller, (first name, Sparky)
Glasscok, (first name, Harry)
Zyzziki, (first name, Zizzy)
Ennis, (first name, "P"eter)
Pussey, (first name, Frank)
Greasadick, (first name, Richard)
Creamer, (first name, Dick)
Colon, (first name, Mudd)
Balls, (first name, Crystal…In case I want to go that route. Leaving my options open)
Skank, (first name, Stu)
Gay, (first name, Ben)
Pipe, (first name, Dwayne)
Magnum, (first name, Jimmy)
Meoff, (first name, Jack)
Butzlaff, (first name Marv)
Dingler, (first name, Harry)
Raines, (first name, Dallas…In case the porno industry comes calling)