Please Come Back Plax…Please!

How good must it be to be Plaxico Burress? Well, aside for the fact that your manhood almost got taken from you by your own glock. By hey, those are minor details. It’s not like everybody has the privilege of wearing sweatpants to a night club, not only that but gaining entry. On top of that, lets see…Catch the game-winning touchdown in the Super Bowl, gets rewarded for what he bring to the football field with a nice, crisp, fat contract. Having the ability to march to a different beat of the drum as his Giants teammates do, in not being obligated to contact team personnel to notify them of “family matters” that came up, thus you’ll be a no show for meetings…With punishment being a slap on the wrist.

Turns out, that little slap on the wrist by the Giants, which resulted in that one game suspension, didn’t hurt any…Although, did it? Perhaps that one game suspension gave Giants false hope…False hope that they in fact didn’t need all of Plax’s sideshows that accompanies him to team headquarters! Hindsight is 20/20, but don’t think for a second if the Giants knew how shit was going to go down the shitter without Burress that they would’ve told him to go take a leap off the Empire State Building! What seemed like a sure bet that Plax would never play for the Giants again just about six weeks ago…Well, I guess that’s why nothing’s for sure!

Since Plax hunkered down in his ammo filled fox hole, the Giants went from favorites to repeat to impersonating the Knicks on the gridiron! Eli looks like a deer in the headlights who lost his dog…The receiving corps that the Giants felt so strongly about, who they had confidence in to fill in for the loss of Plax didn’t and can’t get it done. What once looked so promising for a return trip to the Super Bowl ended up being a front row seat on the couch in the friendly confines of home watching the NFC Conference Championship Game…Knowing damn well you should be playing in it if it wasn’t for Plexiglas trying to shoot off his grapes!

All this over one guy and yet members of the team wanted this cat back. Funny, I was under the impression nobody wanted him around…We don’t need him! We have very capable receivers to fill his void! At least that was the wind everybody was blowing out of their pieholes! Capable receivers, huh? Yeah, sure you do! That’s why now everybody wants Burress and all the baggage that he brings with him. Yes, the winds have changed in New York! The whimpers of bringing Plax back can be heard all throughout the Northeast… “Please bring Plax back, PPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEE!” Oh cry me a river! And what must Burress be thinking…He knows the situation! Knows the Giants can’t get it done without him! There by potentially making him even more of a distraction if the Giants do decide to bring him back…For all intensive purposes giving him the perspective no matter what he does, Plax can do no wrong! There’s a recipe for success! Betty Crocker is smiling somewhere! In addition, what the hell kind of message are you sending to the rest of the players who go about their business in the professional manner that is supposed to be…Huh? That’s for being a model team member, but we can’t win without this sweatpants wearing, dumbass who likes to shot himself in the leg mother f********. Awesome!

Yeah, here’s a crazy idea…I hear TJ Hosyourmama is a free agent. I’d even go as far to see what Ocho Stinko is up to. Or did somebody even say draft? What that’s? Michael Crabtree is coming out? Isn’t that funny! It’s a given that priority one for the G-Men in the off-season is to get a legit threat at receiver…However, rollar coasters never change. So if Plax is welcome back, well prepare for the ride. The Giants made their seat on the couch for this coming Sunday along with Super Bowl Sunday…Now the only thing to do is sit in it and wonder what would’ve happened if Burress didn’t try to shoot off his grapes. Or if he would’ve had jeans on instead of sweatpants.