First Ballot Hall of Famer…

Few weeks ago, (or perhaps it was last week, as I give a shit about baseball) Major League Baseball inducted their new class into Cooperstown and now with Super Bowl week upon us, that means it’s the National Football League’s turn to select their newest class into Canton later this summer. Now for all of us Joe the Plumbers out there, it seems we are all constantly hearing from voters, “Well, I had trouble voting for Player A because of this”, “Player B didn’t get my vote because I feel like a player who has been on the ballot for going on 10 years deserves to get in first.” Or this is my favorite, “Player C deserves to get into the Hall, just he’s not a first ballot Hall of Famer…But will get my vote eventually.”

Yes, I love that one…That is just simply awesome! Okay, Cal Ripken Jr., Tony Gwinn, John Elway, Joe Montana…We all knew they were locks to get in on their first try. Although, um, yeah…Candidates up for Hall of Fame consideration, yeah, all those stats that they accumulated throughout their careers, those aren’t going to change any! It’s not like one can make out with Captain Morgan all night and make the numbers more attractive, on second thought you may be able to…If it works on women, who knows? However when the side affects wear off, besides having one hell of a hangover, the stats are still the same. Just as the 250-pound sow, she’s still a sow even though she looked like a Playboy Playmate through those beer goggles…She still needs that pork chop around her neck for men or dogs to play with her!

Amen to Jim Rice for finally getting into the Hall! Now he might’ve not been a first ballot Hall of Famer, but I’m pretty sure that all his stats on the back of those Topps baseball cards never changed year after year…That’s just a guess! Although I’m not the sharpest nail in the box! So why after so long, why now? What makes him get in now? Same can be said for Art Monk last year…Had numbers to be a first ballot member, but yet was bypassed until a year ago? Hell if a woman is hot…Well, she’s F-ing hot! And if she’s not, well, she’s not. And it’s not just these two, it’s for everybody who has proven over time that they deserve to be in…Accomplishments and accolades don’t change once a player decides to hang up the cleats. Can’t go back and change shit…Just like O.J. can’t go back and not commit a double murder. He’s a murder, no matter how long he rots in jail…No matter which way you look at it, that’s how he’s perceived!

Okay, I don’t know how I just drew the comparison of being inducted into the Hall of Fame to a killer…But hey, shit happens! Mark McGwire…Hall of Famer, quite simply yes or no! Not on, “well, how many years has he been on the ballot?” Kurt Warner, yes or no! Not, “well first he has to get into the Supermarket Sweep Hall of Fame to be worthy of consideration!” Either you’re worthy of playing in the Super Bowl or your not, (I know it changes every, but go with me here). Either you’re drunk or you’re not!

“First Ballot Hall of Famer”…This phrase falls into the same category as, “Our backs are up against the wall!”…Not to be out done by, “The game face is on tonight!” What the hell is that?